Paddy got arrested in B & Q today for punching an African woman at the till. He claims it wasn't his fault as his father had told him to go in and get a Black and Decker.
Experts are worried about President Obama's mental state after he pledged millions of dollars of aid to Northern Ireland, following the tragedy of Hurricane Higgins.
I went to the doctor while I was on holiday in Bangkok recently, to get my testicles checked out. While the doc was cupping my dangly bits, she said, "Don't worry, it's normal to get an erection during this kind of examination."
I said, "I haven't got an erection!" She replied, "No, but I have!"
A bloke was sitting on a bus when a gorgeous woman next to him starts breastfeeding her baby. The baby won't take it so she says, "Come on, eat it all up or I'll give it to this nice man here." Ten minutes later, the baby is still not feeding so she says again, "Eat it all up or I'll give it to this nice man here."
The bloke says, "Listen, love, can you make your bloody mind up, I should've got off four stops ago!"
The guy who owned the Odeon cinema group has died. His funeral is next Friday at 2.10, 4.20 and 8.40.
No comments:
Post a Comment