Just had a call from a charity asking me to donate some of my clothes to the starving people of the world. Told them to " F**k Off". Anyone who fits into my clothes isn't starving!!!
Japanese scientists have now created a digital camera with such a fast speed that it's now possible to take a photograph of a woman with her gob shut.
A little girl walks into her parents' bedroom.
"Holy F**k" she screams "And YOU want ME to see a doctor about sucking my thumb...!!
Wee Irish boy crying by the side of the road. A man asks "What's wrong?"
Boy says "Me Ma is dead."
"Oh bejaysus" the man says "Do you want me to get Father O'Riley ?"
Wee boy replies, "No thanks Mister, sex is the last ting on me mind right now."
I hate all this terrorist business. I used to love the days when you could look at an unattended bag on the train or bus and think " I'm f**king having that!"
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