It's 2012 and it's the Olympics in London.
A Scotsman, an Englishman and an Irishmen want to get in, but they haven't got tickets.
The Scotsman picks up a manhole cover. Tucks it under his arm and walks to the gate.
"McTavish, Scotland" he says, "Discus" and in he walks.
The Englishman picks up a length of scaffolding and slings it over his shoulder.
"Waddington-Smythe, England" he says, "Pole vault" and in he walks.
The Irishman looks around and picks up a roll of barbed wire and tucks it under his arm.
"O'Malley, Ireland," he says, "Fencing".
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