Rain Gone!

It looks like the rainy season has ended - no sign of clouds any more just blue skies. It must be high season soon!

Soi Diana - Update

The former Diana Millennium, which is next door to the Butcher's Arms and Pook's Bar is not going to be a GoGo or Coyote joint- although the plate glass initially suggested this. It is actually going to be a shoe, bag and jacket shop. I must admit I personally think it might well turn out to be in the wrong part of town but someone has decided to risk it.

Lighten Up! -106 - Food Photos!!

Soi LK Metro - October 2009

The Silver Dollar Restaurant, more or less opposite Champagne, is up for rent or sale. The bar opposite, I believe owned by the same people, Bulldogs, is also up for sale or rent. FCUK Inn has changed hands.


Zion House, the Israeli-run motorbike hire place across from us is also for sale.

Otherwise the street is pretty much as was. There are a few more people milling around but it is still difficult to predict whether the 'high' season is going to be as high as the floods which have engulfed the streets a couple of times in the last two weeks! Opinions vary depending on who you are talking to.


The Diana Millennium, as it was formerly known, does not yet have a new name as work is till on-going. It's beginning to take shape and might well turnout to be a coyote or Go-Go by the look of things. I will report further whenever I know something.

Meanwhile, at Metro, we plod on enjoying a dram or two whenever time and company allows! Sometimes too often! We have had the pleasure of some 'old' guests recently and have made some new friends over the last month and look forward to welcoming them back here again.


A few photos coming up next!

 

Liverpool in the Spotlight Again! New Posh Shop!

Ed Freemann - A True Story

You're a 19 year old kid.
You're critically wounded and dying in the jungle in the Ia Drang Valley ,
11-14-1965, LZ X-ray , Vietnam.  Your infantry unit is outnumbered 8 - 1 and the enemy fire is so intense, from 100 or 200 yards away, that your own Infantry Commander has ordered the MediVac helicopters to stop coming in.

You're lying there, listening to the enemy machine guns and you know you're not getting out.
Your family is 1/2 way around the world, 12,000 miles away and you'll never see them again.
 

As the world starts to fade in and out, you know this is the day.
Then - over the machine gun noise - you faintly hear that sound of a helicopter..!!  You look up to see an un-armed Huey!!  But.... it doesn't seem real because no Medi-Vac markings are on it.  

Ed Freeman is coming for you..!!
He's not Medi-Vac so it's not his job, but he's flying his Huey down into the machine gun fire anyway.  Even after the Medi-Vacs were ordered not to come...   He's coming anyway.  
And he drops it in and sits there in the machine gun fire, as they load 2 or 3 of you on board.  
 

Then he flies you up and out through the gunfire to the Doctors and Nurses.  
And, he kept coming back..!! 13 more times..!!
He took about 30 of you and your buddies out who would never have gotten out.

Medal of Honor Recipient, Ed Freeman, died last Wednesday at the age of 80, in Boise , ID  
May God Rest His Soul.

I bet you didn't hear about this hero's passing, but we've sure seen a whole bunch about Michael Jackson's passing........

The Ant and the Grasshoppper - 2 Versions of the same story!

The Ant & the Grasshopper Story

This one is a little different.... Two Different Versions! ...... Two Different Morals!

OLD VERSION: 

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long,  building his house and laying up supplies for the winter.
 

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away.
 

Come winter, the ant is warm and well fed.
 

The grasshopper has no food or shelter, so he dies out in the cold.
 
MORAL OF THE STORY: Be responsible for yourself!




MODERN VERSION:

The ant works hard in the withering heat all summer long, building his house and laying up supplies for the winter. 

The grasshopper thinks the ant is a fool and laughs and dances and plays the summer away. Come winter, the shivering grasshopper calls a press conference and demands to know why the ant should be allowed to be warm and well fed while others are cold and starving.
 
CBS, NBC , PBS, CNN, MSNBC and ABC show up to provide pictures of the shivering grasshopper next to a video of the ant in his comfortable home with a table filled with food.    America is stunned by the sharp contrast. 
 

How can this be, that in a country of such wealth, this poor
grasshopper is allowed to suffer so?
 
Kermit the Frog appears on Oprah with the grasshopper and everybody cries when they sing,

'It's Not Easy Being Green.' 
Acorn stages a demonstration in front of the ant's house where the news stations film the group singing, 'We shall overcome.'

Rev.. Jeremiah Wright  then has the group kneel down to pray to God for the grasshopper's  sake.
Nancy Pelosi & Harry Reid exclaim in an interview with Larry King that the ant has gotten rich off the back of the grasshopper, and both call for an immediate tax hike on the ant to make him pay his fair share.

Finally, the EEOC drafts the Economic Equity & Anti-Grasshopper Act retroactive to the beginning of the summer.

The ant is fined for failing to hire a proportionate number of green bugs and, having nothing left to pay his retroactive taxes, his home is confiscated by the Government Green Czar.
 
The story ends as we see the grasshopper finishing up the last bits of the ant's food while the government house he is in, which just happens to be the ant's old house, crumbles around
him because he doesn't maintain it. 

 

The ant has disappeared in the snow.
The grasshopper is found dead in a drug related incident and the house, now abandoned, is taken over by a gang of spiders who terrorize the once peaceful neighborhood.


MORAL OF THE STORY: 

Be careful how you vote in 2010! 

Can't find that book .......?

Europe v Australia

I got this sent to me by several friends and decided to post it - interesting comparison!

Sir Alex as we know him.

This has been around now for a while. After his recent outburst about an unfit referee, no doubt there will be more to come.

Lighten Up! - 106

Lighten Up! -105 - Man Laws!

From: The International Council of Man Laws.

1: Under no circumstances may two men share an umbrella.

2: It is OK for a man to cry ONLY under the following circumstances:
(a) When a heroic dog dies to save its master.
(b) The moment Angelina Jolie starts unbuttoning her blouse.
(c) After wrecking your boss's car.
(d) When she is using her teeth.

3: Any man who brings a camera to a stag night may be legally killed and eaten by his friends.

4: If you've known a guy for more than 24 hours, his sister is off limits forever unless you actually marry her.

5: Moaning about the brand of free beer in a buddy's fridge is forbidden. However complain at will if the temperature is unsuitable.

6: No man shall ever be required to buy a birthday present for  another man. In fact, even remembering your buddy's birthday is strictly optional.  At that point, you must celebrate at a strip bar of the birthday boy's  choice.

7: In the mini-bus, the strongest bladder determines pit stops, not  the weakest.

8: When stumbling upon other guy watching a sporting event, you may  ask the score of the game in progress, but you may never ask who's  playing.

9: You may fart in front of a woman only after you have brought her  to climax. If you trap her head under the covers for the purpose of  flatulent entertainment (commonly known as a Dutch oven), she's officially your  girlfriend.

10: It is permissible to drink a fruity alcohol drink only when you're  sunning on a tropical beach ... and it's delivered by a topless model  and only when it's free.

11: Only in situations of moral and/or physical peril are you allowed  to kick another guy in the nuts.

12: Unless you're in prison, never fight naked.

13: Friends don't let friends wear Speedos. Ever. Issue closed.

14: If a man's fly is down, that's his problem, you didn't see  anything.

15: Women who claim they 'love to watch sports' must be treated as  spies until they demonstrate knowledge of the game and the ability to  drink as much as the other sports watchers.

16: A man in the company of a hot, suggestively dressed woman must  remain sober enough to fight.

17: Never hesitate to reach for the last beer or the last slice of  pizza, but not both, that's just greedy.

21: Never allow a telephone conversation with a woman to go on longer  than you are able to have sex with her. Keep a stopwatch by the phone.  Hang up if necessary.

22: The morning after you and a girl who was formerly 'just a friend'  have carnal, drunken monkey sex. The fact that you're feeling weird and  guilty is no reason for you not to nail each other again before the discussion  occurs about what a big mistake it was.

23: It is acceptable for you to drive her car. It is not acceptable  for her to drive yours.

24: Thou shall not buy a car in the colors of brown, pink, limegreen, orange or sky blue.

25: The girl who replies to! the question 'What do you want for  Christmas?' with 'If you loved me, you'd know what I want!' gets an Xbox 360. End of story.

26: There is no reason for guys to watch Ice Skating or Men's  Gymnastics. Ever.

27: We've all heard about people having guts or balls. But do you  really know the difference between them? In an effort to keep you informed, the definition of each is listed below:

'GUTS' is arriving home late after a night out with the guys,  being assaulted by your wife with a broom, and having the guts to say, 'are  you still cleaning or are you flying somewhere?'

'BALLS' is coming home late after a night out with the guys smelling of perfume and beer, lipstick on your collar, slapping your wife  squarely on the ass and having the balls to say, 'You're next fatty!'

I hope this clears up any confusion.

The International Council of Man Laws.

Japanese Crop Art

Stunning crop art has sprung up across rice fields in Japan. But this is no alien creation - the designs have been cleverly planned and planted.
Farmers creating the huge displays use no ink or dye. Instead, different colours of rice plants have been precisely and strategically arranged and grown in the paddy fields.

As summer progresses and the plants shoot up, the detailed artwork begins to emerge.

A Sengoku warrior on horseback has been created from hundreds of thousands of rice plants, the colours created by using different varieties, in Inakadate in Japan

The largest and finest work is grown in the Aomori village of Inakadate , 600 miles north of Toyko, where the tradition began in 1993.

The village has now earned a reputation for its agricultural artistry and this year the enormous pictures of Napoleon and a Sengoku-period warrior, both on horseback, are visible in a pair of fields adjacent to the town hall.

More than 150,000 vistors come to Inakadate, where just 8,700 people live, every summer to see the extraordinary images.

Each year hundreds of volunteers and villagers plant four different varieties of rice in late May across huge swathes of paddy fields.



Napoleon on horseback can be seen from the skies, created by precision planting and months of planning among villagers and farmers in Inkadate.



Fictional warrior Naoe Kanetsugu and his wife Osen appear in fields near the town of Yonezawa, Japan.

And in recent years, other villages have joined in with the plant designs.

Another famous rice paddy art venue is near the town of Yonezawa in the Yamagata prefecture.

This year's design shows the fictional 16th-century samurai warrior Naoe Kanetsugu and his wife, Osen, whose lives feature in the television series Tenchijin.

Various artworks have popped up in other rice-farming areas of Japan this year, including designs of deer dancers.



Smaller works of crop art can be seen in other rice-farming areas of Japan, such as this image of Doraemon and deer dancers.

The farmers create the murals by planting little purple and yellow-leafed kodaimai rice along with their local green-leafed tsugaru roman variety, to create the coloured patterns between planting and harvesting in September.

The murals in Inakadate cover 15,000 square metres of paddy fields. From ground level, the designs are invisible, and viewers have to climb the mock castle tower of the village office to get a glimpse of the work.

Rice-paddy art began there in 1993 as a local revitalization project, an idea that grew out of meetings held by the village committee.



Closer to the image, the careful placing of thousands of rice plants can be seen in the paddy fields.


The different varieties of rice plants grow alongside one another to create the masterpieces.

In the first nine years, the village office workers and local farmers grew a simple design of Mount Iwaki every year.

But their ideas grew more complicated and attracted greater attention. In 2005 agreements between landowners allowed the creation of enormous works of rice paddy art.

A year later, organisers used computers to plot the precise planting of the four differently coloured rice varieties that bring the images to life.

Webmail Working Again

There should now be no problems receiving mail from me as the problem has been sorted.

Lighten Up! -105 - The Chicken or the Egg?

A chicken and an egg are lying in bed. The chicken is leaning against the headboard smoking a cigarette, with a satisfied smile on its face

The egg, looking a bit pissed off, grabs the sheet, rolls over, and says, "Well, I guess we finally answered THAT question..

Lighten Up! -104 - The Cricketer

A lady walked into a Police Station, the desk Sergeant said, "Can I help you ?"
"Yes," she said, "I'd like to report a case of sexual assault."
"Where did it happen?" the Sergeant asked.
"In the park just down the road," she replied.
"Can you describe what happened ?"
"Yes, I was walking along the footpath in the park near the trees when a man jumped out of the bushes and dragged me in there, removed my underwear then he dropped his pants to his knees and had his way with me."
"Could you give me a description of him ?"
"Yes, he was wearing white shoes, long white trousers, a white shirt  and  he had these two big long pads from his feet up to and over his knees, one on each leg."
"Sounds to me like he was a cricketer, most probably a batsman," said  the Sergeant.
"Yes," said the lady, "He was an English Cricketer."
"That's very observant," said the Sergeant, "You worked that out from  his accent ?"
"No," she replied. "I worked it out because he wasn't in for very  long."

Lighten Up! -103 - Two Catholic Parrots!

A lady goes to her priest one day and tells him, 'Father, I have a problem.

I have two female parrots,


But they only know how to say one thing.'

'What do they say?' the priest inquired.

They say,

'Hi, we're hookers!  Do you want to have some fun?'

That's obscene!' the priest exclaimed,
 

Then he thought for a moment.
'You know,' he said,  'I may have a solution to your problem.

I have two male talking parrots, which I have taught to pray and read the Bible.

Bring your two parrots over to my house,

And we'll put them in the cage with Francis and Peter.

My parrots can teach your parrots to praise and worship,  and your parrots are sure to stop saying . . That phrase . . In no time.'

Thank you,' the woman responded, 'this may very well be the solution.'

The next day, she brought her female parrots to the priest's house.

As he ushered her in, she saw that his two male parrots
Were inside their cage holding rosary beads and praying.

Impressed, she walked over and placed her parrots in with them.

After a few minutes, the female parrots cried out in unison:

Hi, we're hookers! Do you want to have some fun?'

There was stunned silence.

Shocked, one male parrot looked over at the other male parrot and exclaimed,

'Put the beads away, Frank, Our prayers have been answered!'

Emails.

Just in case you're trying to reach us through the website contact page: if I don't reply in a day, then email me again please as there is currently a problem with our out-going mail. If you send me the same email twice I will reply using a different email address after your second email since I will then know you did not receive the first reply.

Thanks.

Lighten Up! -102 - Things which are difficult to say when drunk.

Every once in a while, in life you run into a genius with true talent......

THINGS THAT ARE DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Innovative
2. Preliminary
3. Proliferation
4. Cinnamon

THINGS THAT ARE VERY DIFFICULT TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. Specificity
2. Anti-constitutionalistically
3. Passive-aggressive disorder
4. Transubstantiate

THINGS THAT ARE DOWN RIGHT IMPOSSIBLE TO SAY WHEN DRUNK:

1. No thanks, I'm married.
2. Nope, no more booze for me!
3. Sorry, but you're not really my type.
4. Kebab? No thanks, I'm not hungry.
5. Good evening, officer. Isn't it lovely out tonight?
6. Oh, I couldn't! No one wants to hear me sing karaoke.
7. I'm not interested in fighting you.
8. Thank you, but I won't make any attempt to dance, I have no coordination.  I'd hate to look like a fool!
9. I must be going home now, as I have to work in the morning.