Soi LK Metro Update

Yes, REDZ which is opposite the Metro Apartments has been sold. It is now a Danish bar.

The rumoured restaurant - said to be Danish - has now opened and is called Casablanca - Thai. I have not yet been able to check out what sort of food is being sold.

The Indian - name still unknown is set to open within the next 2 weeks.

The currently-being-renovated ex-Lloydies has not yet opened but will apparently soon do so - with an 'alien' name!

The current debacle at the airports whilst not allowing for the arrival of any tourists nonetheless is aiding those currently here as the exchange rates is getting better for Sterling, Dollar and Euro holders.

Some due-to-arrive guests continue to tell me they will be here by hook or by crook - albeit delayed a week or so!

Good for them!

Lighten Up 24! - Doctor goes on holiday

A doctor wants to get off work and go play golf, so he approaches his assistant. 'Seamus, I am going golfing tomorrow and don't want to close the clinic,' he says.. 'I want you to take care of the clinic and all me patients.'

'Yes, sir!' answers Seamus.

The doctor goes golfing, returns the following day and asks, 'So, Seamus, how was your day?'

Seamus tells him that he took care of three patients.

'The first one had a headache, so I gave him Tylenol.'

'Bravo, Seamus, and the second one?' asks the doctor.

'The second one had stomach burning and I gave him Maalox, sir,' says Seamus.

'Bravo, bravo! You're good at this. And what about the third one?' asks the doctor.

'Sir, I was sitting here and suddenly the door opens and a woman bursts into the room. Quick as a wink she undresses herself, tearing off every stitch of clothing including her bra and her panties, and lies down on the table. She spreads her legs and shouts, 'Help me, I beg you! It's been five years since I've seen a man!'

'Thunderin' Lord Jesus, Seamus, what did you do?' asks the doctor.

'I put drops in her eyes.'

REDZ

Reports suggest that REDZ which opened 6 weeks ago is being/has been sold! Pattaya - truely amazing!!

Soi LK Metro

Not a lot has happened over the last week even though there was only one day's closure for the Royal Cremation.

The Indian Restaurant and the Danish Restaurant which are said to be opening soon - have not yet done so.

There is a new Tattoo shop below Metro Apartments but before Storm's.

Several places are still on the market and some of the others are holding their own even though economic conditions may be tough. A rough glance at booking for Metro Apartments shows perhaps a slight dip in February 2009 but bookings for January and March and even into April seem to be around what could be expected this far in advance.

Refurbishment is still on-going in what was Lloydies but a new sign has not yet gone up.

More to come soon.

Lighten Up 23! - Paddy buys a donkey

Young Paddy, moved to Roscommon and bought a Donkey from a farmer for EUR100.00. The farmer agreed to deliver the Donkey the next day. The next day he drove up and said, 'Sorry son, but I have some bad news, the donkey died.'

Paddy replied, 'Well, then just give me my money back.'

The farmer said, 'Can't do that. I went and spent it already.'

Paddy said, 'Ok, then, just bring me the dead donkey.'

The farmer asked, 'What are ya gonna do with him?

Paddy said, 'I'm going to raffle him off.'

The farmer said, 'You can't raffle off a dead donkey!'

Paddy said, 'Sure I can. Watch me.. I just won't tell anybody he's dead.'

A month later, the farmer met up with Paddy and asked, 'What happened with that dead donkey?'

Paddy said, 'I raffled him off. I sold 500 tickets at two euro's a piece and made a profit of EUR898.00.'

The farmer said, 'Didn't anyone complain?'

Paddy said, 'Just the guy who won. So I gave him his two euro's back.'



Paddy now works for the Irish Government

Tourists and Weather

There's been a lot of talk about climate change and the current weather in Pattaya seems to bear this out. Several 'in-laws' of both my own and of other friends have arrived in town recently only to discover Irish-like cloud cover but warm rain unlike in the Emerald Isle.

Today, while there hasn't been rain worth talking about, several friends are not looking forward to packing their bags in the next couple of days and have no 'tan' to show off when they get back home.

In fact, the weather seems to be directly related tot he economic doom and gloom - grey skies, only occasional glimpses of sunshine and uncertainty whether the light at the end of the tunnel is a ray of hope or another on-coming train!

While flights seem to be getting cheaper there still does not appear to be a rush to go out and buy. This unusual lack of enthusiasm appears to have something to do with the exchange rate which almost all believe is too high for most tourists to swallow.

Perhaps the downturn in inward investment will lead to a more favourable rate for inbound travellers. Meanwhile, chins up!!

Lighten Up 22! - Murphy and the Band Aids

Murphy staggered home very late after another evening with his drinking buddy, O'Reilly. He took off his shoes to avoid waking his wife, Kathleen. He tiptoed as quietly as he could toward the stairs leading to their upstairs bedroom, but misjudged the bottom step. As he caught himself by grabbing the banister, his body swung around and he landed heavily on his rump. A whiskey bottle in each back pocket broke and made the landing especially painful. Managing not to yell, Patton sprung up, pulled down his pants, and looked in the hall mirror to see that his butt cheeks were cut and bleeding. He managed to quietly find a full box of Band-Aids and began putting a plaster as best he could on each place he saw blood.He then hid the now almost empty Band-Aid box and shuffled and stumbled his way to bed. In the morning, Patton woke up with searing pain in both his head and butt and Kathleen staring at him from across the room. She said,

'You were drunk again last night weren't you?'



Murphy said, 'Why you say such a mean thing?'



'Well,' Kathleen said, 'it could be the open front door, it could be the broken glass at the bottom of the stairs, it could be the drops of blood trailing through the house, it could be your bloodshot eyes, but mostly..... it's all those Band-Aids stuck on the hall mirror.

The Pattaya Ghost

You may have seen the link here to The Pattaya Ghost blog which I have enjoyed reading over the mast several months. Well, as the Ghost explains in his most recent posting he is finishing. Personally, I think it's a pity as I usually enjoyed reading his posts. But, I can understand his reasons. As he quite rightly points out, it is a time-consuming affair which is one reason I post snippets only occasionally. The jokes which I place here more frequently are usually sent me by friends and are posted as I know some people log in for a laugh - especially if they are missing their friends in Pattaya.

Back to the Ghost - well done, a pity you are not able to keep going. Good Luck! Maybe one day I'll find out who you are!

Lighten Up 21! - Ageing with Humour

TO BEGIN THE MONTH WITH A BIT OF A CHUCKLE IN CASE IT GETS WORSE!


Ageing With Humour?


Just before the funeral services, the undertaker came up to the very elderly widow and asked, 'How old was your husband?'

'98,' she replied. 'Two years older than me.'

'So you're 96,' the undertaker commented.

She responded, 'Hardly worth going home, is it?'



Reporters interviewing a 104-year-old woman: 'And what do you think is the best thing about being 104?' the reporter asked.

She simply replied, 'No peer pressure!'



I felt like my body had gotten totally out of shape, so I got my doctor's permission to join a fitness club and start exercising. I decided to take an aerobics class for seniors. I bent, twisted, gyrated, jumped up and down, and perspired for an hour. But, by the time I got my leotards on, the class was over.

Remember:You don't stop laughing because you grow old, you grow old because you stop laughing.



THE SENILITY PRAYER:

Grant me the senility to forget the people I never liked anyway, the good fortune to run into the ones I do, and the eyesight to tell the difference.