Lighten Up 20! - Gallagher's Obituary

Gallagher opened the morning newspaper and was dumbfounded to read in the obituary column that he had died. He quickly phoned his best friend, Finney.

'Did you see the paper?' asked Gallagher. 'They say I died!!'

'Yes, I saw it!' replied Finney. 'Where are ye callin' from?'

Goings-on in Soi Metro

Lloydies at the top of the street has been sold and is currently closed for refurbishment.

Redz opposite Metro Apartments has got off the ground with a few hiccups but that was only to be expected.

The new Indian restaurant is still not open - perhaps next month?

To encourage more residents to meet their pals in the Metro Bar before venturing out on the town we have introduced an all day, all night, every day, every night 10% residents discount. If the resident pays for all the drinks he gets a discount on the lot and can then split the tab with his pals afterwards. Apart from the 'encouragement' angle it is also a way of us saying 'thank you for staying with us'.

John who owned The Place to Bee in Soi LK Metro is not it now transpires open a similarly named place on Soi Lengkee.

The second and last match in the International Rules between the AFL and GAA is this Friday at 5.30 pm on the Australia Network. Last week several lads watched the first match and although the rules were a bit confusing they all thoroughly enjoyed it. The GAA lads won last week 45-44.

Lighten Up 19!

Father Murphy walks into a pub in Donegal, and asks the first man he meets,

'Do you want to go to heaven?'

The man said, 'I do, Father.'

The priest said, 'Then stand over there against the wall.'

Then the priest asked the second man, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'

'Certainly, Father,' the man replied.

'Then stand over there against the wall,' said the priest.

Then Father Murphy walked up to O'Toole and asked, 'Do you want to go to heaven?'

O'Toole said, 'No, I don't Father.'

The priest said, 'I don't believe this. You mean to tell me that when you die you don't want to go to heaven?'

O'Toole said, 'Oh, when I die , yes. I thought you were getting a group together to go right now.'

90-Day Reporting at Immigration

I realise that this does not affect most who read what I post here. Nonetheless, on the off chance that it might affect you or someone you know I'm going ahead.

I had to visit to Immigration last week for the usual 90-report. The system is now being computerised and I was informed that on my next visit I would need to produce a utility bill in my name sent to my address as registered with Immigration.

The lady I dealt with did have my details on computer already albeit with a slight error - so those sheets of paper we've been filling in over the years don't finish up in a shredder without being 'processed'.

Soi LK Metro News

Last Sunday, 19th October, Les from FCUK Inn tied the knot. What with Steve from across the road getting engaged the week before, there seems to be some strange fragrances hovering in the air around that part of the street!

Highly unlikely that there is a connection but Lloydies has now changed hands. The new establishment is not currently open for business as renovation work takes priority. The new owner is said to be Australian.

Just below The Blue Moon, the new Indian restaurant is nearing completion. More of that when it opens. I am told the owners are British Indian.

Rumour has it that another premises below the Metro Apartments building is being refurbished and will be some sort of Thai / Danish restaurant.

The Italian Restaurant next door to Metro Apartments has apparently got a new gaffer.

Finally, REDZ which is across the street from Metro Apartments has opened.

For those fans of AFL and GAA the so-called AFL International series begins on Friday 24th at 17.30 local time on the Australia Network. For those unfamiliar with the 'sport' it is a cross of the rules of Aussie Rules football and Gaelic Football from Ireland. The series has come under serious scrutiny as the 'professionals' from Australia have been a bit rough on the 'amateurs' from Ireland. Yep, the Aussies are fitter and bigger as trained professionals but a GAA game isn't exactly tame either. If you haven't seen it before, you could do worse than tune in to see what is always a fast, tough, no-holds-barred encounter. The second match is on Friday 31st October.

Jum's Farewell on 30 September 2008

This is Jum. Click any photo to enlarge.

After two years employment in Day Reception in Metro Apartments, we are having to reluctantly let Jum leave us. As an employee I can only comment positively on her time here. Polite, punctual, conscientious, capable, energetic and with a sense of humour as well as good English and Computer skills - I will miss her.

Many other staff and guests will also miss her when she later this month departs for Germany.

Below are some of the photos of some of the staff and guests who arrived early (the photos taken quite early in the party!) before the quality of photography started to deteriorate! Anyway, I wouldn't post photos when someone is not at their best!













Everybody at Metro Apartments wishes Jum well in the future and looks forward to her coming back to Pattaya to visit us!

Lighten Up 18!

Although Paddy and Mick were apparently happily married, they decided in agreement with their wives to swap partners.

The following morning Paddy said,

"Well, Mick, I must say that was the best night's sex I've had in ages!"

Mick nodded in agreement and said,


"Let's go ask the women how they got on!"

Lighten Up 17!

An Irishman was terribly overweight, so his doctor put him on a diet.
'I want you to eat regularly for 2 days, then skip a day, and repeat this procedure for 2 weeks. The next time I see you, you should have lost at least 5 lbs.

When the Irishman returned, he shocked the doctor by having lost nearly 60lbs!

'Why, that's amazing!' the doctor said, 'Did you follow my instructions?'

The Irishman nodded...

'I'll tell you though, by Jaesuz, I t'aut I were going to drop dead on dat 3rd day.'

'From the hunger, you mean?' asked the doctor.

'No, from the f**kin' skippin'

The Bigger they come......

Most people who have stayed in Metro Apartments will have passed by if not had a drink in Murphy's Law just up the soi a little bit. Well, even if you haven't had a drink there, you will probably have heard Steve either whistling or shouting something like "Move it!" as he 'encourages' his staff to serve customers faster.

Although it has been rumoured for a few days, I can now tell you that his days are numbered as this Friday, 10th October, he's not having his usual Friday night party but instead an Engagement Party.

Yep, the long-legged langer (as they say in Cork) is getting engaged to Jum - his hard-working companion. Marriage will follow in 2009 I suspect if they haven't killed each other before then!!

Everybody at Metro Apartments wishes them well.

Soi 6 Curtailment

Since yesterday's visit by the local constabulary to businesses on Soi 6 I have read loads of opinions from current and future visitors. Will the law continue to be enforced or not? Will such-and-such a place be open before I get there? Are the authorities crazy? And lots more such questions and opinions.
Some claim it's business as usual; some say it's 'dead'. From what I have seen on the Internet and from personally driving down the street a couple of times over the last few days, I can tell you that it is considerably quieter afternoons there. Although I haven't been there I believe other sois have had similar visits. I'm afraid no amount of speculation will help; it's a matter of wait and see how things develop and if and to what extent the law continues to be enforced.

M.E. Pals

As their stay draws to a close I thought I might mention that there have been a number of would-be golfers in town over the last four weeks or so. These poor souls make their living in The Desert Kingdom - aka Saudi Arabia working for a large British contractor there.

Among those digging up large chunks of Thai greenery were PS (Leeds), LW (Manchester) and MD (Oz) but currently in Brunei. They were on a few occasions ably assisted by PJM (Leeds) now Pattaya and DC (Newcastle) now Vietnam. For some strange reason they still believe that they 'play golf'! In fact, such is the degree of their disillusionment that there have been reports of clubs being thrown and kicked about the place. Not the sort of behaviour you associate with 'real' golfers I put to you. Other non-club-wielding associates were in town also but by and large kept a low profile: IMG, PH, AMcA to mention a few. They enjoyed their stay here and most called by the Metro several times as well as calling in on Gary in The White Lotus on Soi Boukhao who used to work with them. Several others kept themselves to themselves in Bangkok - GNC, for example. Next month will see the arrival of Silverfox - an erstwhile colleague - I wonder if he was trying to avoid them.

Well, in a few days they are off to pastures browner until the beginning of December when some are threatening to return this way. Enjoy!

Soi LK Metro

Moves are afoot (again) to sort out parking and general traffic problems. Double parking had increased and become the norm over the last six months or so. What with the street vendors selling fruit, Thai food, sausage rolls and pies, shoes and masks to mention but a few and semi-abandoned vehicles, the street owners have decided to act. Last week, representatives of the street owners and the local constabulary swept up and down the soi informing business owners that motorbikes, tables and advertising boards could not be placed outside the designated, lined parking areas. There is some confusion about what can be placed there! No doubt, more to follow on this one. Two years ago similar moves were made and for a while the soi was one-way! Let's see what happens.

Storm Bar & Hotel

My neighbours on the street tell me that Storm's has been sold to two Australian lads. I haven't met them yet but will do so soon, no doubt. As with all neighbours - best wishes for the future.

REDZ - "nearly there"

Brian, from Drogheda, is hoping he can have a 'soft' opening on Monday 6th evening. He's "nearly there" but as is often the case, you need a while to sort out the teething problems. If there is a delay, I will post about it.

Lighten Up 16!

Scottish Humour!
Click on image to enlarge.

Club Blu

Craig, from Canada, is not the new owner of Club Blu but the general manager. Keith, formerly Stereo Bar is also a manager I believe.

Juice Restaurant-Soi Lengkee

Here at Metro whenever we have a hooley I order the food from Juice. Pat, Nuu and the staff have never let me down and the quality of food has always been excellent. Well, it appears now that Juice is for sale. There are several posters on display in the bar promoting the sale. Hopefully, if and when the sale goes through, the new owner will continue to provide us with the same excellent and value-for-money food.

Re-opening?

About little more than a year ago, John sold The Place 2 Bee on Soi LK Metro, diagonally across from Metro Apartments. Well, it seems that the same place is about to open on Soi Lengkee. I don't know yet whether it's being opened by John or someone else is using the name.

Bars Sold?

Several stories are doing the rounds that Lloydies and Storm's have both been sold. This is the gossip of the street but I have not met any new owners yet.

Sam who was running 3 Som has now abroad and the place is being run by Jason who hails from Florida.

REDZ

Brian, the new man behind REDZ bar opposite the Metro, is hoping to open in the next week or so. Initially it will be a soft opening and then a bit of a hooley after a bit. Good Luck!